


Don't You Dare Forget the Sun

by Misagi



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Aredian is not just a witchfinder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Magic Revealed, Rape/Non-con Elements, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:36:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misagi/pseuds/Misagi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin saves a family from being executed, leading to his magic being revealed. Uther believes Merlin is evil, just like the rest of the sorcerers, and calls in Aredian. Not just a witchfinder but expert in torture and getting people to reveal and confess their deepest secrets and crimes.<br/>Basically, Merlin is tortured and Arthur has to save him. With a whole load of plot, angst and fluff in there somewhere.....no really there is, and of course some Merthur romance too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know when in the series this fic is set but basically, Uther is alive, Morgana isn't evil and all the knights are there (Leon, Elyan, Percival, Lancelot and Gwaine)
> 
> But please, there are gonna be some parts in here that some readers may not like to read  
> in case you didn't get enough warning before, this fic isn't happy (at least....pretty much none of it is happy) and Merlin (the poor guy) is gonna be tortured pretty badly  
> so, this is your last warning, if this is not your thing please don't read
> 
> ah, title is a song by Get Scared - the actual song isn't really relevant in any way, just liked the title

Merlin was just gathering the last of the seemingly endless pile of laundry from the prince’s chambers when the doors flew open and the prince himself strode in. He took no notice of Merlin stood watching as he pulled off his cloak and threw it to the floor before collapsing into a chair with a sigh and closing his eyes. The servant was about to ask what was wrong this time but then he paused, he clutched the dirty clothes a little tighter and cautiously stepped towards the prince. Arthur’s whole body was trembling as if it could hardly contain the emotions inside, Merlin swallowed and bent down to pick up the discarded cloak before clearing his throat quietly. “Sire?”

The blonde’s eyes snapped open and his thunderous gaze had Merlin frozen. He’d never seen Arthur so angry before. Merlin swallowed loudly and waited for Arthur to say something, he knew when he shouldn’t push the prince. Arthur brought his hand to his eyes and sighed deeply, he rose from the chair and made his way over to the window to stare out at the courtyard. The servant watched as Arthur leaned his head against the cool glass and then turned to face him. “Merlin what is your opinion on magic?” Merlin was stunned by the question and found his mouth opening and closing. How was he supposed to answer that? “My father, he’s sentenced a whole family to die.”

The warlock felt his face grow pale and he carefully deposited the laundry on the bed before making his way over to the prince. “What happened?”

Arthur leaned against the wall by the window. “Their child was witnessed practicing magic. So my father decided the whole family must burn along with him.”

Merlin felt bile rise in his throat, his stomach churning uncomfortably, but he managed to keep his voice steady. “The child, what did he do?”

The anger faded in the prince’s eyes, only to be replaced by a deep sadness and confusion that had Merlin’s heart twisting painfully. “He grew a flower. Merlin, evil magic doesn’t grow flowers. Children can’t be evil.” 

Merlin clenched his hands into fists and shook his head he looked down at his feet and felt Arthur’s eyes on him. “Arthur I-“ He broke off and pursed his lips, he couldn’t tell Arthur about his magic, not yet, but he could help better his opinion of it. 

“Merlin I want your opinion on this. Am I right to think this way?”

The warlock looked up shocked and nodded quickly. “Yes. Arthur I…I believe that magic is not evil. I think that-“ He paused again and unclenched his fists, only to quickly grab onto the bottom of his old, brown jacket. “I think it’s the person that wields the magic that makes it so.” 

Arthur placed a gentle hand on Merlin’s shoulder and nodded. “Thank you, Merlin.” He turned to leave the room when Merlin’s voice stopped him. 

“Are you going to help them? The family.”

The prince locked eyes with his servant and folded his arms over his chest. “I can try and talk to my father.”

Merlin nodded and Arthur left the room, closing the door softly behind him.  
The warlock, forgetting the laundry, waited a few seconds and then raced from the chambers. He charged down the corridors, bumping into numerous servants and knights, barely giving himself time for a quick apology before he reached Gaius’ chambers. He burst in and almost tripped over his own feet before reaching the bench Gaius was currently working at.

“Gaius I need your help.”

The man looked up and raised his eyebrow knowingly. “The family Uther sentenced this morning?”

Merlin nodded and tried to catch his breath. “There must be something we can do? How can he sentence a whole family just because of what someone saw the child do? How do we even know the child did it?”

Gaius sighed and sat down, motioning for Merlin to do the same. “This isn’t something you can meddle with, Merlin. It was a trusted knight of Camelot that witnessed the child practicing magic. No word, not even Arthur’s, will be enough to sway the King’s decision. If you try and go against the knight’s word you’ll be sentenced with them. Do not put yourself in danger over this, boy.”

Merlin frowned and looked down at his lap, he didn’t understand the King’s laws, and if what Arthur had said was true about it being a simple flower then how can the King see that as evil? He rose from the bench and without another word to Gaius he left the room. Merlin knew he wouldn’t be able to just sit back and watch a whole family die for one child’s innocent use of magic. He felt his own magic prickling under his skin at the injustice of it all. With his decision made, he rushed down to the entrance to the cells where he knew the family would be held. Uther, in his arrogance, had left only two guards by the door. No sorcerer’s had escaped these cells, the bars were made of iron, suppressing any magic that the prisoner’s may possess. 

The warlock whispered a spell under his breath and as his eyes turned gold, the guards began to feel tired. It was a new spell Merlin had learned and he wasn’t sure if it would work, but soon enough, both guards were heavily asleep, slumped against the wall. Merlin smiled to himself and crept down the stairs in case of more guards but none were to be seen. He quickly found the cell that contained the family and his chest constricted at the sight. They’d all huddled into the corner, the young boy accused of the magic hidden behind them as if that would protect him from his fate. Merlin stopped in front of the bars and the father looked up, a frown on his face but didn’t say anything. “I’m going to get you out of here.” 

Merlin took a step back and closed his eyes, holding his hand out to the bars. Suddenly the lock on the door exploded and the door fell to the ground. The family looked at him in a mix of awe and fear as he stepped inside. He held his hand out and tried for a reassuring smile. “Come on, we don’t have much time. No doubt someone heard that.”

The father slowly rose to his feet and for the first time Merlin saw who he and his wife were shielding. Three young children were all holding onto each other, fresh tears running down their cheeks. “Please, we have to go. I can get you out of here.”

The father studied Merlin once more before nodding and motioning his wife and children to leave the cell. As they left the father took Merlin’s hand in a firm grip. “Thank you.” Merlin smiled and shook his head but before he could say anything the guards began to stir and one of them rose to his feet. His eyes locked on Merlin and the man and he stood in shock. Merlin felt a knot of fear twisting in his stomach. The guard had recognized him. He had seen him helping the prisoners escape. 

The warlock stumbled back and pulled the man along behind him as he ran. He gathered the rest of the family and just as they made it to the exit the warning bells began to sound. Merlin, now uncaring if people noticed, blasted the door from its hinges and pushed the family out. “You can make it into the forest, find the druids, they’ll help you.”

The woman ran with her children while the man hung back, his eyes sad. “What about you?”

Merlin shrugged and waved the man away. “Don’t worry about me, just get your family safe.”

The sound of the guards running down the corridor and their shouts spurred the man into action. He gave one last look over his shoulder before disappearing into the trees. Merlin took a deep breath and realised his whole body was trembling. He felt tears sting his eyes as he turned. He could have run. He could have escaped with the family. He knew any other person would have done, but as he saw the guards coming to a stop in front of him, he knew that he could never leave. Arthur was his destiny and his friend, he wouldn’t abandon him, even if it meant Merlin would face the flames.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin leaned heavily on the wall, letting out a long breath as he saw the first flickering shadows of the guards racing towards him. He felt his legs begin to tremble and sank down, his back grazing the wall, as he reached the floor. The warlock slowly slid his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, maybe Arthur would listen to him, at least give him a chance to explain, but he knew it wouldn’t be Arthur that he would be facing. It would be Uther and his absolute hatred of magic. 

The rush of feet stopped and Merlin opened his eyes to see a group of knights stood facing him and his heart stuttered in his chest as he saw who had come to chase him down. Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, Leon, Lancelot and Arthur. He stood at the front of his most trusted knights, anger and betrayal in his eyes, the torch Leon held beside him illuminated his golden hair and Merlin had never seen the prince look so beautiful. His breath caught in his throat and suddenly tears were spilling down his cheeks. He couldn’t even reach up to wipe them away, the energy completely drained from his body. His blue eyes met Arthur’s and held his gaze for a few seconds before the warlock had to look away, letting his head fall forwards, not able to stand the look of sadness he saw. 

After a long silence, Leon stepped forward and cleared his throat. “You’re under arrest. Your crimes are aiding convicted sorcerers to escape and suspicion of practicing magic-” He stopped as Arthur raised a hand and Merlin slowly looked up to see Arthur crouch down in front of him, bringing their faces level and so close that Merlin could feel the prince’s breath. 

There was a long, strained silence as Arthur continued to stare at his manservant. Merlin could hardly see through the tears still spilling from his eyes and he found that he could not look at his prince any longer, his eyes dropped and he took a deep, shuddering breath. “A-Arthur I-” 

The prince reached forwards and placed his hand over Merlin’s mouth. “Not a word, Merlin.” His voice was hard and cold and it made Merlin’s stomach swirl with dread. He knew right then that he’d broken any chance he had of Arthur ever trusting him, ever confiding in him and calling him a friend. “We don’t have much time. Leon, take the others and lead the guards elsewhere.”

Leon hesitated, his gaze flickering between the prince and manservant. “But, Sire-”

“Don’t argue with me.”

The knight bowed his head and slowly backed away, motioning for the other knights to do the same. Gwaine and Lancelot hesitated, hanging back, keeping a wary eye on the pair. “If you do not leave us this second I will have you on the pyre in place of the family. Leave.” Arthur glanced over his shoulder at the two remaining knights and with a final glare, Lancelot and Gwaine turned and followed the other knights. 

As soon as they were out of sight, Arthur’s whole body slumped and his hand fell from Merlin’s mouth. The prince looked broken and Merlin wanted so much to reach out and hold him, run his fingers through his golden hair and tell him that everything was going to be okay. “Why? Why did you do it, Merlin?”

The warlock gathered his knees to his chest and curled up as tightly as he could, as if this could somehow keep him from falling apart in front of his friend. “I couldn’t let them die.”

Arthur ran trembling fingers down his face and his blue eyes studied the warlock’s face. “You have magic. You used magic to free them. Nothing else could have done that damage to the door.” Fresh tears welled in Merlin’s eyes as he slowly lowered his head in conformation, not trusting his voice to work past the lump in his throat. “Why?”

The warlock choked and shook his head, unable to keep it together anymore. “They were going to die, Arthur. I couldn’t stand there and watch a whole family die because of a simple mistake by a child. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry-”

Arthur cut him off by holding up a hand and sighing loudly. “Don’t.”

Another silence pressed down on them, using the precious little time they had left. The sound of shouts not far from their position made Merlin flinch and Arthur grabbed him by the arm and hauled them both to their feet. He dragged Merlin the short distance to the entrance and shoved him roughly away. “Get away from here. Leave Camelot and never come back.” 

Merlin stood in stunned silence, so convinced that Arthur would turn him in after his betrayal. “Arthur, Sire-“

“Go.”

The warlock took one last look at his prince before stumbling back a few steps and running. His chest burned as he struggled to gain enough breath but he kept going, forcing himself not to look back, he wasn’t sure he could stand to see that broken look in his friend’s eyes again. Tears made fresh tracks down his cheeks as he choked, his steps faltering as he reached the edge of the forest. He fell to his knees in the dirt and clutched at the ground, heaving sobs escaping his chest. He knew he should keep moving if he didn’t want to be found, no doubt the guards were leaving the castle as he sat there, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. The warlock sucked in deep breaths and tried to calm himself down, he had to think of a way to stay at Arthur’s side without getting caught, but first he had to hide.

Merlin rose to his feet and wiped his face on his sleeves, he knew crying did no good so he forced the tears away and took a deep breath before running on. He’d run no more than a few minutes when he heard the sound of hooves thundering behind him. Fear swept through his body and as he turned his head to look back he saw knights of Camelot had caught his trail and were fast catching up with him though luckily they had yet to spot him. He pushed himself faster, darting between the trees, his eyes flashing gold as he hastily tried to cover his tracks behind him.

His legs ached and his lungs screamed for more oxygen, he knew he couldn’t keep running much longer, he knew he’d shaken the knights a little way back but couldn’t stop. Not yet. Not until he knew he was far enough away they wouldn’t accidentally find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this took so long to be updated, i just couldn't figure out which way to go with the story in terms of Arthur's reaction to Merlin's magic, but i think i'm pretty happy with it now.  
> I think i'm going to try and explore Arthur's pov in the next chapter and go more into his feelings of finding out about Merlin's magic.  
> Hope to see you there!
> 
> ~Misagi


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur leaned heavily against the wall as he watched the one person he thought he could trust the most run from him. His chest felt tight and he couldn’t stop the single tear that rolled down his cheek. That man had betrayed him, lied to him and broken the rules of Camelot yet he couldn’t summon the energy to hate him. Arthur’s whole body felt exhausted as he slid to the ground and more tears fell as his body shook with silent sobs. Merlin’s face swam in his mind, the complete fear that shone in his eyes pierced Arthur’s heart. Clearly Merlin did not see their friendship as Arthur had, the servant had truly believed Arthur could kill him. 

The prince heard footsteps behind him but didn’t turn to look, he knew who it would be. “He’s gone. I sent him away.”

Gwaine allowed some of the tension to leave his body, he’d not wanted to leave Merlin alone, not after discovering that his suspicions were true but he had no choice. The knight slowly knelt next to his prince and placed a hand on his shoulder. “He’ll be fine, Princess.” The blonde turned his gaze to his kninght, not bothering to hide his tears and lowered his head in a nod before allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. “So what now?”

Arthur took a deep breath and fiddled with his belt and it hit him with a jolt that Merlin would never again be there, chattering away about nothing while trying to hide his nerves, as he strapped Arthur into his armour. There would be no clumsy attempts at chores, no late breakfasts or lunch. No Merlin. It felt like a punch to his gut and Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, he had to push these feelings away, he had to stay strong and keep a stony face in front of his father and the court. Merlin was a convicted sorcerer, he could not show any emotion towards the man. 

Arthur?” At the sound of Gwaine’s voice, Arthur opened his eyes and took a deep breath before placing the mask over his features. 

“Where are the other knights? Gather them together, no doubt my father will want a search party sent after the sorcerer.”

Gwaine merely blinked at the blonde before sighing and pointing vaguely down the passage. “They were leading other groups away from here. You’re not going to-“

“We must inform the king that the sorcerer escaped.” Without waiting for a reply, Arthur marched off towards the throne room, only hoping that Merlin was able to get far enough away or hide himself somewhere.

As Arthur entered the throne room, he saw his father sat tensely on his throne, awaiting news about the sorcerer. “Son, has he been found?”

Arthur bowed his head slightly and gripped the hilt of his sword until his knuckles turned white. “The sorcerer escape, Sire. I shall gather the knights and search the forest for him, he cannot have gone far.” 

The King nodded his acceptance and rose from his throne. “Do not hesitate, son. If you find him kill him. I know you were unnaturally fond of the boy but you cannot let that stop you, he is a sorcerer and no doubt had some plan to destroy Camelot. Order the knights to kill him on sight.” The prince swallowed hard and bowed before turning and shouting at the first servant he found to prepare the horses.

As the horses thundered through the trees Arthur couldn’t help the twisting in his stomach as he realised Merlin had left a trail that was all too traceable but he pressed on. If Merlin was stupid enough to not try to cover his tracks then it was not Arthur’s fault if he was found. He had gripped the reins so tightly his hands were cramping and his back felt stiff where his whole body was tense. The ride was silent apart from the occasional call to follow the trail. Gwaine had refused to ride out with them, Arthur didn’t argue with him, he’d always known it was Merlin the man was loyal to. Arthur briefly considered the fact that Gwaine had known about Merlin’s magic, they’d been close ever since they met, but he dismissed the idea quickly. Gwaine looked just as shocked and betrayed as Arthur. 

The group was called to a halt as Leon jumped down from his horse and ran his fingers over the ground. “The tracks end here. We’ve lost him, Sire.”

Arthur couldn’t help the small breath of relief and nodded, pulling on the reins to turn his horse around. “Leon come with me. The rest of you search the area, meet here before the sun falls. We’ll camp out and resume the search in the morning.” Leon climbed back onto his horse and followed Arthur in the direction Merlin had most likely gone. Arthur had first assumed Merliln would head home, towards Ealdor and his mother, but the tracks pointed in the opposite direction and the prince could only assume Merlin was just trying to get away, not heading in a specific direction.

Once out of earshot of the other knights, Leon rode up next to Arthur and bit his bottom lip. “You can speak freely, Leon.”

The knight nodded and adjusted his grip on the reins. “Sire if we find Mer-the sorcerer, what are we going to do. The King ordered we kill him on sight.” 

Arthur sighed and allowed his tense shoulders to slump. “I don’t know, Leon. I can’t kill him. He was once a trusted friend. He betrayed me and the kingdom with his lies but I cannot bring myself to believe he is evil. If he was the evil my father claims then why would he risk discovery to set the family free. It makes no sense.”

Leon nodded and brought his horse to a stop, prompting Arthur to do the same. “Arthur you know my loyalty is to the King, I cannot betray his orders.” The knight paused and Arthur watched a struggle going on in his friend’s mind. “I do not believe Merlin to be evil, but we cannot return empty handed. The King will not accept that he has just disappeared. Especially as he was your manservant and privy to the goings on of the castle, he will know many things that Camelot’s enemies would give their right arm to know.”

Arthur allowed Leon’s words to sink in and felt the last of the energy leave him. He knew what the knight had said was true, his father would not stop until Merlin was brought in. The prince turned to look Leon in the eye, his expression broken. “I don’t know what to do.” 

Leon was shocked at the Prince’s admission, he had never seen such an open expression of grief and vulnerability on Arthur’s face before and he wished he never would again. His brow furrowed and he signaled his horse to move once again. “We’ll figure something out, Arthur. We just need to hope Merlin is sensible enough not to stay within Camelot’s borders.” Arthur nodded gratefully at his knight, knowing that going against the king was not something his old friend took lightly, he knew it would cost Leon greatly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! i got this updated much quicker than i was expecting, for some reason this chapter just flowed much easier than the others. I know not much happened here but i wanted this to be more focused on the emotions rather than actions. I hope i did okay with it and kept it as in-character as i could while still allowing the story to go where i want it to. For those of you wondering how Merlin ends up back at Camelot and in Aredian's evil clutches all will be revealed in the next couple of chapters.  
> Thank you very much for reading, and thank you to all those who have commented/bookmarked/left kudos, it means a lot to me ^^  
> Hopefully see you in the next chapter!
> 
> ~Misagi
> 
> ps - apologies for any mistakes, if you notice any pleeease let me know and i'll fix them asap, it's always hard to spot mistakes in your own work X3


	4. chapter 4

Arthur was staring numbly out of the window in his chambers. It had been a whole month since Merlin had left and no matter how many times Arthur replayed the scene in his mind, he couldn’t see any other way they could have saved him. Of course he was angry with his former servant, he had every right to be. Keeping something like that a secret, not trusting in their friendship enough to confide in him. His hands tightened into fists as he remembered the fear in Merlin’s eyes and the way he had cowered from Arthur as if he could…as if he would ever hurt Merlin.

His thoughts were interrupted by a commotion in the courtyard below. Uther had since summoned Aredian, the witchfinder, to search Camelot and flush out any other sorcerers. The dungeons were almost full in just one month and Arthur felt a shudder down his spine at the cries he heard echo through the castle once Aredian went down to see the prisoners. It was not Uther’s intention to kill the sorcerers. Not this time. He wanted to send out a message loud and clear, any sorcerer would face torture unlike any other, they would soon beg for death and Uther, the merciful king that he was, would grant it. Sometimes. The lucky ones only lasted a few days. Others Arthur knew had been there for almost the full month and no amount of pleading with his father would change that.

Arthur’s stomach dropped when he saw Aredian riding into the courtyard, a wagon behind him, another poor soul brought in for endless torture. However, Arthur paused as he noticed the usual cage had been covered, none of the others had been. Aredian paraded his prisoners around like trophies before bringing them in. What made this one different? He leaned closer to the window and saw the smug satisfaction on the man’s face and his body began to tremble. The prince pushed off from the wall and walked as quickly as he dared down towards the courtyard but he was stopped on the way by a guard. “The king requests your presence in the throne room.”

Arthur ground his teeth together and nodded before changing direction and heading towards the throne room. As he reached the doors he paused for a second and his stomach clenched, he took a deep breath and somehow he just knew that he would not like whatever was beyond the doors. 

The guards outside watched their prince nervously and pushed the doors open for him, motioning for him to enter, Arthur barely had time to register his father sat proudly on his throne before he heard noise from down the corridor and the cage was carried in behind him. He moved to the side and winced as they practically dropped the cage on the stone floor and there was a small whimper from whoever was trapped inside.

Aredian swept in not far behind and bowed to the King, barely acknowledging Arthur’s presence. “Sire, I think you will be very pleased with my latest…acquisition.”

Uther merely waved his hand for the cloth to be removed and Arthur felt as if the floor had fallen from under his feet. Inside the cage, curled in a ball, looking so small and broken was Merlin. His Merlin.

“Sire, I bring you the traitor.” Aredian bowed again and Arthur felt sick at the way Merlin flinched away from the man as he moved closer to the cage. Iron shackles circled Merlin’s wrists and ankles, keeping him tied to the cage and unable to move. Arthur wandered how long Aredian had kept Merlin to break him like that, the Merlin Arthur knew was strong, he wouldn’t surrender to this torture so easily. Especially not with magic to help him. Arthur dragged his eyes away from Merlin and eyed Aredian, he’d done something to Merlin, there were no real marks of torture that Arthur could see and he knew that even if Merlin had been beaten, he would not crumble like the others. 

Then it clicked. The iron. Iron suppressed magic and Merlin was magic. After he’d gone, after Arthur had calmed a little, he’d gone to Gaius and asked about Merlin’s magic. He’d learned a few things from the physician but the man was unwilling to say too much, claiming it was Merlin’s story to tell, but he knew one thing. He knew Merlin was born with magic and he knew that Merlin’s very essence was magic and cutting it off was like denying someone air, there was only so long you could last without it.

The prince realised he’d been so lost in his thoughts he’d missed the whole conversation between his father and Aredian, but he caught the tail end of it. “Take him to the lower levels of the dungeons, it will be your job to get as much information out of the creature as you can. Who he was working with, his plans, anything. Use any method you see fit to extract this information.” 

Aredian’s lips twisted into a cruel smirk and his pale eyes danced with delight. He bowed his head and motioned the guards forward to lift the cage. “As you wish, Sire.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so short and just...a bit rubbish to be honest  
> but i'm trying to get back into this story and this was more of a filler chapter in order to move the story on  
> Honestly, i was at a loss on what to write after the last chapter and was stuck on it for so long, so i decided moving the time forward to Merlin's return was the best way to go  
> This is where the story gets dark and graphic and just not very happy at all so you have been warned  
> also, any comments are very welcome - this is very much a work in progress and any feedback at all would be extremely useful at this point on things such as my writing style or the way the story is going or just anything really  
> thank you for reading and i'm hoping the next chapter will be up soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contains referenced/implied rape

Merlin was vaguely aware of voices around him and the cage hitting a solid floor sending shockwaves through his body, he couldn’t help the small whimper that escaped his lips. Aredian had found him no more than a week after Merlin had run, but he’d kept him like a pet to do with as he pleased until he deemed it the right time to bring him in. 

The warlock didn’t know how long it had been since the iron had been locked around his wrists but it felt like forever. The first feel of the cold metal on his skin quickly turned to fire and his whole body burned, he remembered screaming until his voice went hoarse, the next few days the burning continued on and off as his magic fought against the iron binding it. Merlin didn’t know when his magic began to recede somewhere inside himself but soon all he felt was numb. Just a small, cold flicker of something inside him to let him know his magic was still there.

His remaining time passed in a confused blur of pain, hunger and humiliation as Aredian took what he wanted from the warlock mercilessly. Now, as Merlin was in this darkness with voices around him he wondered if he’d finally passed out, finally able to get some rest but as the cage hit the floor he realised it wasn’t so. 

The brightness came so quickly that he flinched away from it, a breath hissing through his teeth, but he couldn’t move enough to cover his eyes so he squeezed them shut as tightly as he could. The voices grew in volume and he risked blinking his eyes open a few times, the first thing he saw were the bars, but as his eyes came into focus he saw the stone wall on the opposite side and a familiar red. His brows furrowed and he squinted, his eyes still not fully adjusted. He was so close to making out what that red hanging from the wall was when his cage was once again lifted and he got the briefest glimpse of something golden before he was taken from the room.

Blessedly, the warlock had passed out between being moved from the throne room to being thrown into a cell, his hands still bound but no longer chained down. He woke to a familiar ache in his body and groaned quietly before once again blinking his eyes open. Merlin carefully rose so he could shift to lean against the cold, stone wall. The coolness was a little startling but it helped to wake him up a little and take in his surroundings. He scanned the small room he was in and quickly began to realise it was a cell, a small voice in the back of his mind told him how much this looked like the cells in Camelot but he quietened it. He couldn’t be back.

The sound of footsteps echoed down the corridor and Merlin scrambled back to the corner of his cell. His heart sank as Aredian stood at the bars, a smirk on his face. “I got a good price for you, pet. I even convinced the King to clear these cells just for you.” Merlin felt a chill as he remembered the amount of people that Aredian had captured, he had never seen any of them again and this must be why. Wherever he was, this was where all the prisoners ended up.

Aredian opened the cell door and stepped inside, making sure to pull it closed behind him. “The king wants information from you, said I could get it any way necessary.” He crouched down so he was eye level with Merlin, but remaining on the other side of the cell. Merlin shrank back but could go no further, his body already pressed painfully against the wall. “Oh, pet, don’t be like that.” Aredian stood and walked until the toes of his shoes were inches from Merlin. “It just means I get to have fun with you and get paid handsomely for it.” The witchfinder laughed and turned to leave. “I must go to my chambers and rest, we’ll begin the questioning tomorrow.”

~

Arthur sank into the chair at his desk and dropped his head into his hands. He couldn't believe it. Merlin was here. His mind raced with thoughts of what could have happened to his friend over the month he had been missing, he knew that if he were to break Merlin out the man would never make it two steps outside the castle and there was no way Arthur could go with him. He couldn't abandon his kingdom. He sighed and sat back in his chair, maybe Gwaine or Lancelot would go with him, help get him as far away as possible. It pained the prince, but he couldn't let Merlin stay here. Not with Aredian. He'd heard the screams of his previous victims and no man, no matter his crimes, deserved that.

He slammed his hand down on the table and couldn’t help but feel exhaustion creep in. The whole time Merlin had been away he regretted his decision to send the man away. He knew it was the right thing, he’d saved Merlin from burning at the pyre. But at what cost? To get captured by the cruelest of men and end up back where he started in a far worse position. He regretted the way he’d treated Merlin when they’d last been together, he knew Merlin was a loyal friend but the sudden revelation was too much for the Prince and as usual his anger got the better of him, he let his emotions control his actions. He’d lashed out and thrown his one true friend away.

~

Merlin spent the night in fits of sleep, every so often waking with a start from nightmares or at the smallest of sounds. He’d soon learnt to be on his guard, even when he slept. Aredian was the type to take when he wanted. Whether Merlin was awake or not. 

As the sun began to rise, Merlin was woken from his light sleep as the cell door opened and Aredian strolled in. He reached down and hauled Merlin to his feet, the warlock stumbled as he was dragged out of the cell and down the corridor into a dimly lit room with a single chair in the middle. “Are you going to be a good pet or do I have to tie you down?” Merlin swallowed hard and wanted to fight back, he wanted to kick and scream and tell Aredian to go to hell. Instead, he dropped his chin to his chest and Aredian took that as the agreement that is was. 

Merlin sat on the hard, cold wood and clenched his hands into fists. He stared down at the floor and waited for whatever punishment Aredian had to give him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was so late, i didn't even realised i'd left it so long since the update  
> also sorry this is so bad, but i'm trying and really this is the best i have right now  
> another apology, the updates are gonna be kind of sporadic because it's difficult to find the energy to write but i really want to try and get this all out for you guys so please bear with me, i'm hoping the next update won't be as long coming as this one has but i can't promise anything  
> as always, if you notice any mistakes please let me know  
> i sorted out the formatting as it has been pointed out to me so i hope this is easier to read now  
> also, please drop me a comment, i love reading what you all think of my work be it good or bad
> 
> thank you for reading


	6. Chapter 6

Aredian stood behind the chair and saw the slight trembling of his pet, he couldn’t help but smirk at the idea that he had brought the great Emrys to his knees and was keeping him to himself. He owned the most powerful sorcerer of all time and he was his to do with as he pleased. Uther would see the boy burned but Aredian had other ideas. He would stay here as long as it remained profitable, keep up the torture until he got bored and then move on. Of course he would take his pet with him, maybe if he trained him well enough he could get the boy to use his magic only when Aredian commanded it. The thought sent a thrill of excitement through him and he reached forward to rest his hands on the back of the chair. 

He ran his hands down the sides of the chair and as he reached the seat he leaned forward so he was looming over the boy and raised his hands a little to trail down his thighs, feeling the harsh material under his calloused fingers. He felt Merlin tense at his touch and couldn’t help the small chuckle. “Not today, pet.” As he stood straight again he let his hands skim over the ever sinking stomach and come to rest over Merlin’s chest, feeling his heart beat frantically. 

He let his hands stay there for a bit before pulling away completely and coming to stand in front of Merlin. He had never broken someone’s spirit so completely before. When he’d found the boy he hadn’t realised just who he had captured but he’d seen him perform magic so he knew he could hand him over to Uther for a bit of money. It wasn’t until the rumours flew around the kingdom that he realised he had the prince’s escaped manservant in his grasp. 

He shivered as he remembered the first night after he’d discovered this, the delicious warmth, the struggles and the crying. Then there was the blood. It ran crimson down the milky thighs and Aredian couldn’t get enough, wherever the blood was spilled from he loved the trickle of it over the pale skin. Merlin was his favourite so far. 

Merlin kept his eyes on the ground as Aredian came to stand in front of him, he could feel the man's gaze raking over his body and had to suppress a shiver, instead he balled his hands into fists and wished Aredian would hurry up with whatever he was planning. The warlock couldn't help but flinch as Aredian suddenly reached out and yanked Merlin up from the chair, throwing him down onto the floor and laughing as he gave a swift kick to his middle. 

Aredian laughed as he saw the lithe body curling up, winded and he could see the tension, his pet trying not to cry out, to not show how much it hurt. He loved the fire his pet showed even after being broken so. He wrapped his fingers around the bony ankle and yanked the boy towards him until he was lying next to his feet, he enjoyed this, feeling the power he had over his pet. Knowing he could do anything and Merlin was powerless to stop him. An idea began to form in Areadian's mind and he allowed a smirk before crouching down and running his hands through the matted, raven hair. He pulled the boy's head back so he had no choice but to look up at him. "We're going to try something new today, pet. I want you to try and use your magic." 

Merlin stared up at Aredian in disbelief and fear. Use his magic with the cuffs on? He swallowed hard and began to shake his head but Aredian's grip tightened in his hair and pulled harder. Merlin winced and couldn't help the small whimper in his throat. "You are going to try and use magic. I want you to feel the pain, I want you to remember that I am the one that controls you. You are mine and you will do as I say." The warlock felt tears threaten his eyes as Aredian stepped back and folded his arms across his chest. His eyes glanced around the room and he smiled as he stepped over Merlin and reached outside the cell for the torch hanging on the wall not too far away. 

As he came back into the room Merlin had managed to force himself into a sitting position and dread filled his stomach like lead at the thought of trying to access his magic after so long. But what choice did he have? If he didn't do it Aredian would only come up with something far worse as Merlin had learnt from his time spent as this man's captive. He licked his dry lips and knew what Aredian would ask before he even spoke, and it seems the man knew that too as he merely held out the torch towards Merlin and waited. 

The warlock closed his eyes and tried to search within himself for the tiniest spark of his magic. It didn't take long for him to find it but bringing it out was the difficult part. He bit the inside of his cheek as he desperately tried to claw even just the smallest drop of his magic out. He opened his eyes and focused on the torch, he knew he didn't need words to light it. He took a deep breath and tried to push his magic away from him and towards the torch. The warlock gasped at the sudden sharp pain in his chest and his arms holding him up faltered, causing him to fall to the ground once more. He tried to find something to grip onto, his fingers scrabbling at the floor becoming bloody and torn as he tried and tried to access his magic. 

He didn't realise he was screaming until his throat felt raw and his voice came out in no more than whisps. His arms were numb, the shackles burning into his skin as he continued to push his magic, to try and break the hold the iron had on him. He gasped in a breath as he felt the briefest flicker of magic escape, it was nothing, no where near enough to do anything but it was there. He choked on a sob and felt a warmth drip from his nose that wasn't sweat, the blood pooling on the stone floor beneath him. Araedian smiled as he saw the gold flickering in his pet's eyes like small flames and crouched down, reaching out his free hand to wipe away the blood. "There, there, pet. Enough for now." He brought his bloodied finger to his lips and ran his tongue over the warmth before getting to his feet. "We shall continue this tomorrow." Merlin wasn't conscious long enough to see him leave the cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while, i've had loads of problems with my laptop and i've re-written this chapter...actually i've lost count how many times i've had to re-write it  
> so i apologise, this chapter is a whole lot of frustration and probably not as good as it could be but i have posted the only complete chapter i've been able to write  
> despite my near-constant saving of the document it didn't actually save at any point and my laptop likes to restart every five minutes, and i can't actually afford a new one so i'm working with what i've got
> 
> anyway......rant over  
> hopefully you thought this chapter was okay, please let me know what you think via the comments because it really does keep me going when i have this laptop to work with  
> also sorry if this is a bit short
> 
> as always thank you for reading, leaving kudos and/or commenting, i really do appreciate it


	7. Chapter 7

It was a week later, Merlin lay collapsed on the floor, his body frail and exhausted. Aredian now came to visit him two, sometimes three times a day. Each time forcing him to push his magic, his wrists where the shackles bind him were bloody and sore, his head swam from just the slightest movements and his whole body was drained. He found it too much effort to pull in each breath. Merlin wondered what it would be like to stop, to just give in and let the darkness that threatened his vision to take over, to not wake up. The warlock distantly watched the boots of his torturer as he left the cell once more, but he couldn't muster the will to move from where he lay in his own blood and vomit. Each time Merlin had tried to force his magic his body rebelled and it had only worsened as his body weakened. 

Merlin closed his eyes and felt a single tear drip down across his nose and hit the floor beneath him. He didn't hear the sound of footsteps coming towards his cell, nor did he hear the door open. He was only aware of someone being in the cell with him when he felt a warm, gentle touch on his arm. He slowly blinked his eyes open and saw a familiar pair of blue eyes looking down at him with horror. The warlock barely had the energy but he mustered a small smile, barely the twitch of his lips but his Prince saw it. "Merlin what has he done to you." The voice sounded far away, as if he was hearing it from underwater, but he could hear the anger there. He opened his mouth to reply but his throat was so dry all he could do was cough. 

His small frame shook as hacking coughs took over. Arthur quickly pulled Merlin up to lean against him and help him breathe better. Ignoring the stench and mess on the floor, Arthur sank down and pulled Merlin's small body to his, sitting him on his lap as he rubbed soothing circles into the bony back. The prince had to hold back tears as he felt how fragile his once strong manservant had become, he was never made of muscles but to feel practically nothing but skin and bone beneath his fingers was almost too much for him. 

As the coughing died down, Arthur pulled Merlin closer and reached his hand up to smooth the matted, black hair. He couldn't find any words to say, he knew nothing he could say would make this any better. He had to get Merlin out and fast, but there was no way for him to do that, not with Merlin in this condition. 

Merlin felt Arthur's warmth wrap around him and his whole body relaxed, feeling safe in the prince's arms. He felt his eyelids begin to droop but he was shaken gently and he groaned as he raised his head slightly to look up at his friend. "Merlin I need you to stay awake for me, I need you to listen." Arthur paused to make sure he had Merlin's attention, adjusting his grip on the man. "I can't get you out, not yet. I'm going to send Gaius down to tend your wounds and bring you food and water. Just give me a couple of days, Merlin." Arthur gently ran his fingers down Merlin's cheek in an uncharacteristic show of tenderness and Merlin felt a stab of fear at having to spend any longer down here, but he trusted Arthur. He knew his prince would get him out. He slowly nodded and then it occurred to him. His voice came out as a whisper but Arthur leaned down to hear him better. "My...my magic." Merlin swallowed and took a deep breath. "I can...use it...not much..." He trailed off and tried to ignore the pain it cause him to talk. He took a few seconds before trying to continue. 

Arthur frowned and shook his head. "But, Merlin, the iron." The warlock shook his head and Arthur pulled back to study his friend before looking him over once more. There were no real signs of physical torture other than the skin around the shackles that looked like it had been burnt and rubbed raw. "Merlin can you...can you use your magic with those on?" The warlock looked slightly relieved and nodded. "Then why haven't you escaped before?" 

Merlin weakly lifted his hands and Arthur gently held them by the iron, not wanting to put any pressure on them. "Not strong...enough." Understanding swept through Arthur and he gently set Merlin down on the ground away from the mess on the floor. 

"I'll see Gaius, there must be something he can give you." Arthur leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Merlin's forehead before abruptly standing and leaving the cell. The prince felt his heart break at the thought of leaving his friend down there for any longer, but he knew if he acted impulsively as he usually would, it would only be worse for Merln. There was no way the man could go anywhere in his condition and Arthur couldn't go with him, not yet. He had to sort out Aredian and make sure no one else faced this kind of treatment. Sorcerer or not. 

Arthur swiftly made his way to Gaius's chambers and let himself in without knocking. The man was sat on his bench, reading a book, but looked up startled as Arthur entered the room. "Gaius I need your help." The man rose from his bench and gave Arthur a knowing look. 

"You went down to see him. Arthur how did you get down there?" Gaius had tried endlessly to be allowed down there but each time he was refused. Arthur merely shook his head before he began to pace the room. 

"Gaius we have to get him out, I can get you down but you must be quick, I don't know when Aredian will be back and I can't risk him punishing Merlin for this." Gaius ran to grab his medicine bag and some water, the food would have to wait, there wasn't time to make a broth. "Gaius you have minutes at most when we reach the dungeons." The man nodded his understanding and followed Arthur out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this was certainly a lot quicker than i was expecting, my laptop for once is working with me so i wrote this as quickly as i could as i don't know when i'm going to get any length of time like this again on it  
> i think there might only be a few chapters left, i realise this has been pretty fast paced and maybe the story is moving too quickly but this is just the way it flows when i write it and i don't want to linger too long on the torture aspect of it though there will be plenty of torture between them bringing merlin water and getting him out   
> i'm still working out the conclusion to this, whether merlin finds a way to stay in camelot or whether he leaves and comes back once arthur is king i'm not sure yet, any help with that would be much appreciated as i find it difficult to write when i don't have a clear idea of a direction  
> and actually i'm not sure about this chapter, the way arthur leaves merlin but it's all i've got for this so apologies for that too
> 
> apologies for any mistakes but i haven't had long to look over it and also apologies if it's a bit shit
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter and once again thank you for reading, kudos and/or commenting


	8. Chapter 8

Footsteps once again approached Merlin’s cell and he held onto the brief hope that it was Arthur returning to him but his stomach sank as he recognized the sound of Aredian’s boots on the stone floor. But this was wrong, Aredian had never had visits so close to each other before. Something was wrong. Did he know about Arthur? Had he seen the Prince leave the dungeons? Merlin curled in on himself, trying not to let the panic take over. 

Merlin held his breath as the door was opened and Aredian came to a stop behind him, the toes of his boots just brushing Merlin’s back. He didn’t say anything and that scared Merlin more than if he’d started taunting him like he usually did. He felt the slight shift as the man crouched down and flinched at the almost gentle touch of Aredian’s hand on his arm. The warlock screwed his eyes shut and wished whatever he was doing he would get it over with and leave. 

The overly warm hand began to smooth gently up and down the warlock’s thin arm, causing shivers down his spine. “Oh, my pet. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Your precious prince sneaking in here?” Merlin’s whole body stiffened and he went to turn and protest when the hand tightened on his arm, the grip so tight it caused a gasp to escape Merlin’s lips. “You think he can save you? You think once he finds out what you’ve done he’ll still want you? You’re filthy. A disgusting, dirty whore. You think your prince will still care for you?” Aredian paused and Merlin’s eyes shot open. Was he right? Merlin was dirty, he was used and broken. Why would Arthur want him? Tears welled in his eyes and Aredian saw it. He smiled to himself and pulled an unresisting servant up by his arm. “Arthur thinks he can save you but you’re beyond saving. You’re mine. I’m the only one who will have you, pet.” 

Aredian’s clammy hands wrapped themselves around the skinny frame and Merlin couldn’t find it within himself to resist anymore. Even if Arthur did rescue him, what then? Where would he go? He couldn’t stay in Camelot, and he couldn’t ask Arthur to leave. Aredian was right. He let out a quiet sob as Aredian lifted up his tunic, running his hands over his body. 

Merlin closed his eyes as his trousers were pulled down and Aredian pushed him down onto his hands and knees. He felt tears escape his closed lids as the familiar burn spread through his body, normally he would cry out, make some effort to move way, show Aredian the last piece of resistance he could. But not this time. He was too tried, his body too battered, his heart broken. 

He felt almost separate from his body, as the man took his pleasure. Merlin’s weak body struggled to hold himself up but soon Aredian pulled him up, the warlock’s back leaning against the hard chest of his captor. This was Merlin’s punishment for lying to Arthur, for hiding who he was, for all the bad things he had done. He deserved this torture. He deserved to be so dirtied and used. 

He felt Aredian’s body tense and warmth filled his abused body as the man emptied himself, the warlock shivered as he felt slickness slide down the inside of his thighs when Aredian pulled out. “So good for me, pet.” Aredia’s hands ran up the inside of this thighs, gathering the slick and rubbing it almost lovingly into his skin. His breath ghosted over Merlin’s pale skin and he placed what could only be gentle kisses into his lower back as he lowered him back down, something he’d never done before. 

Aredian couldn’t help but love the sight of his ownership of the warlock. The lusciously pale skin laid out in front of him, his for the taking whenever he liked. He couldn’t resist the temptation of placing his lips on that skin, feeling the warmth and softness. The most powerful sorcerer in history was his, his to command and claim. The mere thought excited him and he felt warmth filling him once again, not enough for another go but enough to keep the thrill going, keep him interested. His lips twitched into a smile. 

Aredian pressed kisses up the delicate spine, revelling in the feeling of control, possession. He moved so he was pressed along the lithe back and his lips were brushing the servant’s ears. “All mine.” He laughed quietly and began to slowly roll his hips, rubbing himself against the unresisting body. He felt himself harden quickly enough and sighed as he once again breached the warmth that was his to take. This time he would take it slowly, enjoy the way the warlock's body clenched around his, trying to be rid of the intrusion. He could feel the defeat, the way the boy's body sagged and give in to him. He wrapped his arm around his pet's chest, digging his fingers into his side, sure to leave bruises. 

Merlin turned his head, meaning to bury it into his arm, when a shock of familiar blonde hair caught his eye. Arthur was there. Arthur was stood watching. The warlock's eyes widened but he quickly closed them, not believing that his prince was really there. Arthur could never see him like that. Never see the lowly thing he had become. He felt a choked sob escape him as Aredian began moving faster and harder, too lost to keep his slow, languid movements anymore. The sound of skin hitting skin filled the cell and Merlin dared one more time to peer at the entrance, Arthur was still there but his expression had changed. His eyes were now blazing with anger and the warlock could only whimper as the movement ceased and he was left open and wrecked on the ground, Aredian pulling out far too quickly for his sore body. 

There was a silence that seemed to stretch forever as Merlin lay there. He blinked the sweat from his eyes that he didn't realise had gathered. Aredian rose to his feet, a mad glint to his eyes. "I'll be back later, pet. No doubt your precious prince will try to return to you soon." 

Merlin once again curled in on himself and missed the sight of Arthur stepping into the cell, crowding Aredian into the wall, the most fearsome look in his eyes. "Lay so much as another finger on him and It will be you on the pyre." Arthur's voice sounded cold, anger causing a slight tremble. 

Aredian merely laughed and pushed the prince away from him. "Let us petition Uther. You tell him of my misdeeds. Tell him how I have treated your beloved manservant. I can assure you he will not care." Aredian's eyes turned back to the now unconscious body on the ground. "He is mine and nothing you can do will change that." As if to prove his words, Aredian stepped past the prince and gathered the limp body in his arms. Arthur curled his hands into fists and was about to charge at the man when he saw Gaius stood outside the cell, his face pale and full of horror. "You see, princeling, your manservant has given himself to me. He listens only to me, he is mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update! it took me a while to get back into it, but i'm actually pretty happy with this chapter which makes a nice change
> 
> the next update will be much quicker than this one
> 
> thank you to everyone for reading/commenting/kudos ^^


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur looked desperately at his manservant but before he could do anything a sword appeared at Aredian's neck. No one had noticed Gwaine and Lancelot approaching the cell, all too focused on Aredian. Arthur took a step back as Gwaine came further into the cell, never letting the sword leave Aredian's neck. "Put him down right now or I swear I will kill you where you stand." 

Aredian swallowed and stiffened at the appearance of a second sword at his back, Lancelot pressing a little too hard into his back causing droplets of blood to spill. The witchfinder growled and dropped Merlin to the ground, his body hitting with a pathetic thud. Lancelot and Gwaine moved at the same time, Aredian fell, not even a cry leaving his lips. He was dead before he hit the ground. 

Arthur rushed towards Merlin and pulled him into his arms, he couldn't help pressing kisses to his friend's forehead, apologies spilling out with his tears. "I'm so sorry, Merlin. So sorry." Lancelot and Gwaine knelt next to their prince and gently pried Merlin from his arms. 

"Sire, we'll take him back to Gaius's chambers. You take care of Aredian." Arthur didn't want Merlin out of his sight but found himself agreeing, he had to think of something to tell the king for the sudden disappearance of the witchfinder. Arthur was left with a bitter taste in his mouth, Aredian didn't deserve such a quick death, he deserved to be tortured just as he had others, tenfold. He rose to his feet and gave a swift kick to the corpse before turning to follow his friends from the cell, they carried Merlin between them as if he was the most precious thing in the world. To Arthur he was. The sight of Merlin so beaten and abused had hit Arthur to the core and he knew right then that his feelings for his manservant went far beyond those of master and servant, of friends. He was in love with the bumbling idiot and he would do whatever it takes to protect him from now on. 

Merlin was placed gently on the patient's cot in Gaius's chambers and the physician requested they all leave, let Merlin have at least this little dignity. There was reluctance but they filed out and gathered outside the door. "Gwaine get Percival and dispose of the body, I don't care what you do with it." Gwaine smiled and bowed his head. 

"With pleasure." 

Arthur motioned Lancelot to follow him and moved away from where they could be seen. "Lancelot I need you to hurt me." The knight frowned and was about to protest but Arthur carried on. "The excuse. Aredian attacked me, we had no choice but to kill him." 

Lancelot hesitated but slowly nodded. "What will you have me do, Sire?" 

 

~~~~~

 

Leon burst into the council chambers. "Sire, it's the prince." He didn't need to say more as the king rose from his seat and rushed out after Leon, following him through the corridors. Leon had quickly, if briefly, been informed of the plan and lead the king to the prince's chambers where he lay unconscious in his bed. The king raced over to his son. "What happened to him? Who did this?" 

Leon stood opposite the king. "It was the witchfinder, Sire. He attacked the prince. As his knights we did our duty and protected him." 

There was a long silence before the king looked up to meet Leon's gaze. "What provoked such an attack?" 

Leon gripped his sword, this bit they hadn't covered in the few seconds of conversation. "Magic." The king's eyebrows shot up. Leon cleared his throat, he was never good at lying but he hoped the king would believe this. "Aredian wasn't just torturing the magic users for information. He was using magic himself. We believe the magic had turned him mad." He paused and then it occurred to him, maybe he could use this to save Merlin too. "There's something else, Sire." The king waited expectantly and Leon knew he was pushing his luck. "We do not believe Mer...the Prince's manservant to have magic." 

Uther frowned and stood to his full height. "How can you be so sure? He was found running from the scene as the family escaped. Arthur himself told me." 

Leon swallowed with difficulty and nodded his head. "Of course, Sire. However, we believe Aredian was willing to bring in anyone to get some money. He tortured for sport. The whole time the boy has been here, has he not proved himself loyal to Camelot? To your son?" Uther looked down at Arthur and folded his arms across his chest. 

"Arthur has always been unusually fond of the boy." 

Leon felt some hope that this could work. "The boy's only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Sire. The loyalty he shows to his Prince is rare and not one to be taken lightly. I believe him to be innocent, Sire." 

Uther considered his knight's words. Leon had always been wise, his judgements trustworthy. Leon held his breath as he saw the king thinking things through, he didn't get a reply however as Arthur began to stir. A low groan as he reached up to the lump on his head. "Arthur?" 

The prince blinked up at his father and shot up in bed. "Aredian he-" 

Uther silenced Arthur, reaching a hand out in a rare show of affection to place it on the prince's shoulder. "Has been taken care of. Make sure Gaius sees to him, I assume he is looking after the boy." Leon nodded his confirmation and Uther headed towards the door, the knight couldn't help but wonder at the sudden change, the strange bout of kindness from the stern man. As the king left Leon felt a warm hand clutch his arm, he turned to see Arthur look up at him from the bed, tears pooling in his eyes. 

"Thank you, Leon." The knight bowed and excused himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be honest this chapter has been just hanging around for a while, i was unsure about it and it kind of seems a bit....off with the rest of the story
> 
> i did write about 5 other versions of how this could go but this was the only one i was semi-pleased with  
> however, if anyone wants to see an alternate route i'm more than happy to post that instead as i'm not sure how satisfied people will be with this one, so please do let me know
> 
> i'm really struggling with this fic at the moment so i apologise, even the beautiful voice of Jonghyun hasn't been enough to inspire me and that's saying something
> 
> anyway, please do let me know if you want to see an alternate to this one, there is more to come but it depends on the response to this whether i carry on with this direction or change it
> 
> thanks for reading!  
> (sorry for any mistakes, feel free to point them out to me)


	10. Chapter 10

Not long after Leon left his chambers, Arthur was out of bed and out the door, heading straight to Gaius's chambers. He knew he probably wouldn't be allowed in but he had to make sure Merlin was alright. He stopped short as he saw the rest of his knights gathered outside the door. Gwaine sat on the ground opposite, Lancelot and Leon stood either side of the door, Elyan and Percival leaning on the wall beside Gwaine. Leon stepped forward and put a hand on Arthur's arm. "Gaius will not allow anyone in, Sire." 

Arthur nodded and searched his friend's face. "How is he? Did Gaius say that much?" 

There was a pause before Gwaine spoke. "He's been sedated. Gaius said...Merlin he..." Gwaine broke off and Arthur was truly scared to see the expression on his knight's face. 

"He what, Gwaine?" 

Lancelot looked at his prince sadly. "He woke and wouldn't let Gaius near him. He thought Gaius was Aredian. He was running a high fever and probably hallucinating." Lancelot looked like he wanted to say more but Gwaine interrupted. 

"You didn't hear him. The things he was saying. What that bastard did to him." Gwaine clenched his hands into fists and would have slammed them to the ground if Lancelot hadn't stopped him. "He doesn't deserve this. Not Merlin." 

Arthur felt a heavy weight of guilt in his chest, he should have tried harder to convince his father to free the family. He should have let Merlin stay in Camelot instead of telling him to run, should have come up with any excuse as to why Merlin was down there. "I'm sorry." His knights looked at him, startled. "It's my fault." No one said anything and Arthur took that as confirmation enough. He couldn't bare to be around the men he called his friends knowing it was his fault this had happened. He backed away a few steps but before he could run Gwaine stood and came over to him. Arthur waited to be hit or shouted at but instead Gwaine reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. 

Arthur stood frozen as the knight's arms surrounded him and it wasn't until he felt the slight tremble of Gwaine's body did he raise his arms and hug him back. "I'm sorry, Gwaine." The knight just shook his head and pulled back, giving the prince a not so light pat on the arm. 

"Nothing to be sorry for, Princess. We all played our parts. It's all on us, do not carry the burden alone." 

Arthur looked over at his knights and they all nodded in agreement, but before anything else could be said the door to Gaius's chambers opened. Arthur rushed over, closely followed by everyone else. "Gaius?" The old man looked at the prince before sighing. Arthur had never seen him look so tired. 

"I will need two of you to help me move Merlin to his room so he can rest properly. I have treated all of his wounds." Gaius faltered on that last word and Arthur's chest constricted. 

"I will carry him alone, Gaius." The physician eyed Arthur for a second before stepping aside and allowing Arthur in. The rest of the knights knew to wait outside, no matter how much they wanted to see their friend. 

Arthur practically ran to Merlin and knelt on the floor beside him. Arthur wanted to cry at the sight of his friend looking so fragile, but he kept his tears at bay and reached forward to gently take Merlin's hand in his. "Merlin. I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me." He rose to his feet and oh so carefully lifted Merlin from the cot, cradling him as if he were made of glass and could shatter at any moment. He couldn't take his eyes from his friend as he carried him up the few steps into his room, laying him down just as carefully. Arthur sat on the edge of the bed and once again held Merlin's hand. He knew his presence would do the man no good once he woke, but Arthur needed to be by his side, to make sure no more harm could come to him. 

Gaius came in shortly after, carrying a bowl of cool water and a cloth. He placed them on the stand next to Merlin's bed and sat on the opposite side. "Sire you cannot be here when he wakes." 

Arthur nodded and gripped Merlin's hand a little tighter. "I know, just let me stay a little longer?" 

Gaius sighed but nodded. "Keep him cool, his fever has gone down but it's not enough. Look after him." Arthur took the bowl and cloth from Gaius and began to tend to his friend. He could only hope Merlin stayed asleep for a while longer, to keep him at peace and away from everything that had happened. "I will be back soon, Sire. Call me if he shows signs of waking." Gaius turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry once again for the wait!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for showing your support for the direction of the story, it gave me a lot of motivation reading your comments to get back to writing it
> 
> as usual i played around a lot with this chapter and i was going to have gwaine angry at arthur rather than the hug but i felt the hug fitted a bit better here
> 
> as always thank you so much you lovely, lovely people for reading/commenting/kudos!
> 
> also, sorry this is slightly shorter but i felt it was a good place to leave it until the next chapter


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur sat for what felt like hours, tending to his friend and making sure he was as comfortable as he could be. The prince held onto the fragile hand as much as he could, wanting to make sure Merlin was still there, still with him. Merlin groaned and Arthur immediately let go, leaning forward a little to see Merlin's eyes trying to open. He stumbled back and called for Gaius, the old man rushed into the room and Arthur stood back as Gaius helped Merlin to sit up and held out some water. "Drink this slowly, Merlin." 

The warlock looked confused and blinked a few times down at the water before thirst took over and he tried to gulp it down before Gaius pulled it away with a warning of, "I said slowly." He resumed drinking in small sips. Arthur stayed as still as he could, not wanting to startle his friend as he clearly hadn't noticed Arthur's presence just yet. 

"How are you feeling, Merlin?" Gaius set the bowl down and sat on the bed, careful not to touch Merlin. 

"Tired." Gaius nodded in understanding and was about to get up when Merlin's arm shot out and held him there. "What happened? After..." He trailed off and Gaius tentatively reached out to place his hand over Merlin's pausing to check if it was okay. 

"My boy just get some rest. We can talk another time. You must let your body heal so no leaving this bed until I say so." 

Merlin sighed and nodded, giving Gaius's hand a squeeze before the man rose and turned to Arthur. Merlin followed Gaius's gaze and froze. All Merlin saw were Arthur's eyes, the eyes that had watched as he was dirtied. Panic began to flare in his chest and a whimper escaped his lips. How could Arthur even stand the sight of him knowing what had happened. He didn’t realise tears had begun to fall until Arthur slowly moved forward and gently reached forward. "Is this okay?" Merlin could only swallow as warm fingers brushed away his tears. He didn't want Arthur to touch him, he didn't want Arthur to dirty his fingers. "S-sire...please..." 

Arthur pulled back quickly. "Sorry." 

Merlin shook his head and noticed that Gaius had already left the room, giving the two privacy. 

"Merlin I am the one that should apologise." Merlin looked down at the sheets and clutched them tightly. "It's my fault. I should never have let you go." Arthur sighed and slowly sank onto the edge of the bed. "If I had found another way...if I hadn't let my anger get the better of me...Merlin I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me." Arthur felt tears threatening and hid his face in his hands. 

"Arthur no." Merlin lifted his hands to try and comfort Arthur but he just couldn't. He couldn't touch Arthur with his filthy body. "Arthur you are not to blame." He wanted desperately to give comfort to his friend, to let him know there was no blame, but Merlin couldn't bring himself to move. "Please do not take the blame for this. The fault is mine and mine alone. I should never have left your side, I should never have hidden my magic from you and lied to you all this time. This is my punishment. I deserve this." 

Arthur looked at his friend horrified. "Is that what you think? You think you...you deserved this?" The warlock nodded and Arthur felt his gut clench with guilt. "Oh, Merlin." Arthur wanted so much to pull Merlin into his arms and hide him from the horrors of what had happened. "Merlin you do not deserve any of this. None of this should have happened to you. Merlin look at me, please." There was a pause but still Merlin looked down. "Merlin please, I need you to look at me." Slowly, blue eyes met blue and Arthur tried to convey with his eyes what he knew he couldn't with words. "Merlin you are the kindest, bravest, most stupid man I have ever met." Arthur swalled down his tears. "I know that I wouldn't have made it a day without you after I met you that first time and I wouldn't have it any other way. We will talk about the lies and your magic, but not now. All I need now is for you to get better and be safe." 

Merlin couldn't stand the raw emotion in his friends eyes and had to look back down. "You don't mean that. Not after what he...not after that." 

"Merlin what he did to you, it doesn't change you. You're still my bumbling idiot of a servant, I'll still want you by my side no matter what. Merlin I....those months that you were gone..." Arthur stopped and Merlin couldn't help it then. A sob escaped and he reached forward, just to hold the fabric of Arthur's tunic. He saw Arthur's hand hover over his before hitting the mattress with a small thump. He was grateful for that and held on a little tighter. He didn't realise Arthur was also crying until he dared to look up at his friend and saw the fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. 

Neither could look away from the other as they cried together, Merlin eventually holding Arthur's tunic with both hands as he cried himself to exhaustion. The prince carefully lay him down and smoothed the dark fringe from his brow, not daring any more contact than that. Merlin managed a sleepy, watery smile before drifting into unconsciousness. Arthur only hoped he would be free of dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter!  
> this one is just pure merthur feels
> 
> hope you liked it!
> 
> thank you for reading/kudos/commenting!! ^^


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur spent as much time as his duties would allow in Gaius's chambers, he hadn't dared to venture into his friend's room after that one time, but Gaius kept him updated on Merlin's health and progress. The physical wounds were almost all healed, but still he had nightmares. Gaius was woken more than once most nights to Merlin's screams and Arthur could see how much it was tiring out the physician. There were dark circles under his eyes and his skin was growing paler by the day. "Gaius, I want Merlin moved into the servant's quarters next to my chambers. You cannot carry on like this." The physician hesitated, his eyes glancing towards the closed door of his ward's room. "Gaius please. I promise to take care of him as much as possible and you need your rest. Maybe a change will do him good." 

Gaius sighed and rose from the bench. "I will ask Merlin but only with his permission will he move. I do not wish to upset him any more than necessary." Arthur nodded his understanding and waited a tense few minutes for the physician to return. Arthur froze as not Gaius, but Merlin slowly descended the few steps. The prince held his breath as Merlin stumbled on the last step but did not fall. There was a strained silence and Merlin carefully made his way towards the prince, Arthur could see the effort that it took to move. Arthur opened his mouth to speak but Merlin beat him to it. "You wish for me to move into your chambers, Sire?" 

Arthur cleared his throat and shook his head quickly. "Only if you are comfortable with it, Merlin. It's not an order but a request." 

There was another pause and Arthur wondered if Merlin would reject him when slowly Merlin lowered his head in a nod. "Okay." 

Arthur breathed a sigh of relief and took a step towards his friend. "I will arrange for the bed to be made and the room to be cleaned for you, for now come and rest in my chambers. I'm sure a break from Gaius's nagging would be nice." That got him a faint laugh from his friend and Arthur felt a rush of hope that maybe Merlin would recover, maybe he would once again see those brilliant smiles. 

They made to the door of Gaius's room when Arthur felt a pull on the back of his tunic, he turned to see Merlin was stood a few paces back, his arm stretched out to hold onto him. "Wait...I...I don't..." Merlin worried his bottom lip and understanding flooded through the prince. 

"Oh, Merlin." He reached around to gently take hold of the hand gripping his tunic tightly, he was glad when his friend didn't pull away. "No one can hurt you now. I promise to keep you safe." 

Merlin nodded and squeezed Arthur's hand, moving to stand a little closer to the prince. Arthur smiled kindly at his friend and gently squeezed back before turning to open the door and lead Merlin through the castle towards his chambers. 

He didn't fail to notice that by the time they got to his chambers Merlin was practically glued to his side, his eyes having never left the ground and his body trembling. He couldn't get Merlin into his room quick enough and it seemed to calm his friend a little as the door was shut, away from curious eyes and stuttered words as they passed. Arthur quickly guided his friend over to his bed and Merlin reluctantly sat on the edge. "Lay down, Merlin. You need more rest." Merlin looked nervously down at the covers and shook his head. Arthur sighed and sat next to his friend. He braved once again taking his hand and was pleased when Merlin didn't shake him off. 

They sat in companionable silence, Arthur absently smoothing his thumb over Merlin's soft skin, hoping he was providing some sort of comfort. Merlin shuffled closer to Arthur and leaned his head on his friends shoulder, though he held himself stiff as if waiting to be pushed away. Arthur couldn't help but smile and let his head drop a little to rest his cheek atop Merlin's head. "You'll be okay, Merlin. I'll help you through this, I won't leave you." He felt a dampness on his arm and Merlin's breath hitched as he tried to hold back his tears. Arthur let go of Merlin's hand and wrapped his arms around the small frame, pulling Merlin to his chest. Neither said any more as Merlin began to cry, his trembling hands gripping onto Arthur as the prince held him closer. He reached up to gently smooth the back of Merlin's head, his hair slightly matted but still soft to the touch. 

Merlin eventually cried himself out, his body going lax in Arthur's arms as he fell into an exhausted sleep. The blonde carefully maneuvered the unconscious man to lay under the covers, making sure he was tucked in before pulling a chair so he could sit beside his friend and make sure he wasn't troubled by any dreams as he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is another chapter!
> 
> I want to say a huge thank you to all you lovely readers for sticking with this! We are reaching the end now i'm afraid, maybe just one or two chapters left to go, hopefully they will be longer than this one!  
> Big thank you to those of you who have commented and given me lots of support to carry on with this, it's really given me the boost that i need to get this done
> 
> I must apologise though, this chapter has been written while i'm ill and a little out of it due to medication so if it doesn't make sense or if it's just bad then please don't hesitate to let me know haha
> 
> hope you enjoyed it and please hang in there for the last couple of chapters!


	13. Chapter 13

Arthur must have dozed off in the chair without realising, he was startled from his sleep by the sound of Merlin crying out. The prince shot to his feet and was by his friend's side, trying to gently wake him from his nightmare. "Merlin? Merlin open your eyes. It's okay. You're safe now. Come on, Merlin." Arthur's hands wavered, he wasn't sure if touching Merlin was a good idea or not but soon the man woke with start, his eyes wide and frightened. "Merlin look at me, you're safe." The warlock looked at him and gulped in air before squeezing his eyes shut. 

"I'm sorry." 

The prince frowned. "What are you apologising for?" 

Merlin pulled the sheet up and curled up facing the prince. "That you have to put up with me like this." 

Arthur sighed and crouched next to the bed, putting his face level with Merlin's, giving him a small smile. "Apology accepted. Now come on, I'll have the servants draw a bath for you." Merlin quickly shook his head but Arthur wouldn't hear of it. He poked his head out the door and called down the first servant to walk past, demanding a steaming hot bath. 

He made his way back to his bed and drew the curtains across, hiding Merlin from the curious servants as they brought the tub and the water to his chambers. Once it was filled, Arthur made his way back to the bed and slowly pulled the curtain back. "The bath's ready, Merlin." Merlin hesitated and reluctantly climbed from the bed, he made his way across the room and stood awkwardly by the tub, pulling at his sleeves. "Did you want me to leave?" 

Merlin bit his bottom lip but gave his head a small shake. He tugged at his sleeve some more before reaching forward to dip his fingers in the water. "Merlin what's wrong?" 

Merlin dropped his head and spoke so quietly Arthur had to strain to hear him. "What if I can't get clean?" 

The prince felt his heart twist and he slowly made his way to stand beside his friend. He didn't know what to say to comfort him but reached for the washcloth. "I can help? If you want." 

Merlin looked from the cloth to Arthur and couldn't help the burst of affection for this wonderful man stood before him. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to quench the fear inside him. This was Arthur, the brilliant, beautiful Arthur who had done nothing but try to help him and comfort him. He hadn't realised he'd been lost in his thoughts until he heard the soft voice calling him back. 

"Merlin? It's okay, I don't have to. I just thought...well...it always makes me feel better when you bathe me after a battle or...something..." The prince trailed off, insecurity evident in his voice and Merlin slowly lowered his arms. 

He couldn't help the small tug of a smile on his lips. "Does this mean I get to act like a prat, too?" 

Arthur laughed and placed the cloth back down. "If you wish to. I am at your service today." Arthur bowed and Merlin felt some of the tension leave his body. 

"Arthur could you...do you mind...?" Merlin reached for the hem of his shirt and Arthur quickly turned around, giving him at least that little bit of privacy as he undressed and climbed into the tub. "I'm in." 

The prince turned slowly and knelt by the tub, to the side of Merlin. "If you want me to stop just say." Merlin nodded and Arthur dipped the cloth into the water, enjoying the warmth on his hand. He purposely avoided looking anywhere but Merlin's face. He rubbed soap on the cloth before gently taking one of Merlin's arms in his hand and running the cloth down his slender arm to his fingertips. He felt the warlock stiffen at the contact but he soon began to relax as Arthur rubbed gently at his skin, cleaning away the dirt and grime. 

Arthur moved a little closer to the tub, so that he could reach across Merlin's chest. He stopped the cloth at his friend's shoulder before slowly moving it along his prominent collar bones and back again. "Tell me if this is uncomfortable for you, Merlin." 

"No it's....it's nice." 

Arthur smiled and continued to wash Merlin, he didn't dare go anywhere below the water, he didn't want to push him too far. Once he'd washed all that he could, he went to stand up but Merlin looked up at him. "Where are you going?" 

Arthur opened his mouth to answer but didn't know how to say that he didn't want to make Merlin uncomfortable without dragging up the memories. They waited in silence for a beat before Merlin gingerly reached out and pulled Arthur's hand closer. He used Arthur's hand to help pull himself up to stand, water dripping down his exposed skin. His hand tightened over Arthur's as he brought the cloth to his hip, Arthur's eyes widened in shock and as his gaze met Merlin's he saw the fear but also the trust. Arthur had to wonder at this man, how he was able to trust Arthur with such intimacy after everything he had been through. "Merlin...." Arthur trailed off and let Merlin guide his hand across his navel to rest on the opposite side. 

Arthur couldn't help his heart beating faster, his breathing coming a little shallower. "Merlin I-" 

"Arthur please." 

The prince cleared his throat and Merlin let his hand drop, giving Arthur permission to carry on. He took his time, with such tenderness he had never shown to anyone, he finished washing his friend. Merlin didn't even stop him when he reached his most private areas, instead placing all his trust in Arthur. 

Once he was finally done, the water had gone lukewarm but neither of them noticed much as Arthur helped Merlin out of the tub and wrapped him up in a large towel, patting him down to dry. "I'll have them build up the fire and bring up some food, it's been too long since you ate properly." 

Merlin hugged the towel closer and shook his head. "I'm not hungry." A big yawn escaped and he quickly hid his mouth with the material. "Sorry." 

Arthur rolled his eyes and guided Merlin over to the bed. "Stop apologising, Merlin. It doesn't suit you." The prince went over to his wardrobe and pulled out one of his sleeping shirts and some smalls. "You can wear these until I can arrange for some more clothes for you." 

Arthur held them out for Merlin but the man looked from them to Arthur, a small glint of that cheek returning to his eyes. "I thought you were at my service today?" Merlin let the towel slowly fall from his body and waited expectantly. "Well?" 

Arthur raised his eyebrows but didn't protest, if this was a way to help Merlin heal and return to how he was he would do this every day for him. He started with the smalls. Slowly sinking to the ground to kneel at Merlin's feet. "You'll have to lift your foot, Merlin." The warlock raised his right leg just enough for Arthur to slip the smalls over it, quickly followed by the next. Arthur didn't fail to notice how much more intimate this felt than bathing him, how much closer they were. Arthur allowed his fingers to trail over the warm skin as he pulled the clothing up, rising to his feet as he did so. He also noticed the goosebumps rising on Merlin's skin, the slight shiver down his back. 

He wanted so much to hold Merlin then, the shock of it hitting him hard and he gasped in a small breath. Arthur tried to bring himself under control, Merlin was still fragile, still wounded and healing. It would do neither of them any good to have these feelings. He held himself in check as he instructed Merlin to raise his arms, but as the material slipped over his thin frame, Arthur couldn't stop himself from leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Merlin's forehead. 

Merlin tried to stay calm, tried not to let his fear show as Arthur dressed him. He had attempted some of his old cheek and it seemed to work, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could hide it. Arthur's fingers were on his skin, Arthur was so close he could feel the tickle of every breath. He moved nearly on autopilot as Arthur asked him to lift his arms to put the shirt on. It wasn't until he felt the kiss on his forehead that the feelings became overwhelming. His conflicting feelings of fear, want and love clashed inside of him and his arms shot out, whether to pull Arthur closer or push him away he wasn't sure. As soon as he felt the material of Arthur's tunic he gripped hard and closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut. 

The prince quickly tried to pull away, an apology already on his lips. "Merlin I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-" 

"No, no it's not that. I just...I don't know. I need...but then I can't and I don't know." Arthur stepped back and pried Merlin's hands from his shirt. 

"It's okay. Deep breaths, I won't touch you anymore, no one's going to hurt you." Merlin hadn't even realised his breathing had sped up until Arthur was trying to calm him down. "Come on, Merlin. I'm sorry, just take deep breaths. That's it. Follow my breathing." Arthur took long, deliberate breaths and slowly Merlin found his breathing slowing, the brief panic subsiding. 

Embarrassment washed over the warlock and he tried to turn away but Arthur moved so he was still in front of him. "Why don't you get into bed? You still need to get some rest. I can have some food prepared for when you wake up." Merlin nodded and climbed into the plush bed, enjoying the comfort it brought and trying to ignore the tingly warmth Arthur's touch had left on his skin. It didn't take him long to fall asleep despite his racing thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY A NEW CHAPTER!
> 
> i'm so sorry my lovely readers, i know i've left this one for far too long but for many reasons i haven't been able to do any writing recently but i'm finally back!  
> i'm pretty happy with this chapter, i hope you all like it too! lots and lots of fluffy merthur feels to enjoy here
> 
> thank you so much for sticking with me or any new readers thank you very much for reading!!
> 
> if you spot any mistakes please point them out to me!
> 
> i think there will only be one chapter after this one, feeling a little sad about it as this story has taken a long time to get through and it will be strange no longer writing it, but anyway ~ see you in the next chapter!


	14. Chapter 14

Arthur watched his friend fall asleep and sighed, he'd gone too far. He knew it was too early for Merlin but still he pressed with his selfishness. He snatched the towel from the floor and vowed to be more careful, he didn't want to upset Merlin any more than necessary and possibly ruin any chance he had of healing. Once again he called down the closest servant and ordered all sorts of food, kicking himself for not having paid attention to what Merlin liked to eat. He pulled the curtains back around the bed and sat at his desk in an attempt to get at least a little paperwork done, he'd fallen behind in his duties since Merlin had returned to Camelot and he knew his father would not tolerate much more of it. 

He worked through the servants bringing the food and clearing the tub, he hardly blinked when they once again returned to stoke the fire and light candles as the light faded outside. He blinked into awareness when the curtains on the bed moved and Merlin stuck his head out. "Arthur?" The prince looked down at the paper and saw he'd only managed to sign one document, the quill having left a large ink blot where he'd held it in the same place for too long. He dropped it and rose from the chair. 

"How are you feeling, Merlin?" 

He climbed from the bed and shrugged a shoulder, his eyes wandered to the food and his stomach let out a loud growl. "I guess that answers my question." 

Merlin felt his face flush but made his way over to the table, he picked up a small piece of bread and some cheese, not wanting to put too much in his stomach after so long. Arthur motioned for him to sit and he sank gratefully into a chair. He looked up, shocked, as Arthur poured him some water. "Take as much or as little as you want, Merlin. It's all for you." Merlin watched as a faint blush coloured Arthur's cheeks at his words and quickly looked down at his bread. 

"Thank you." 

There was a pause and he thought he heard Arthur whisper. "Anything for you, Merlin." Arthur joined him at the table and they ate in comfortable silence, the food was cold but it had never tasted so good to Merlin. 

Merlin took the last sip of water in his cup and placed it down gently, relaxing back into the chair to study Arthur. He couldn't understand how Arthur had forgiven him, how he could even look at him or care for him after everything but he was glad for it. He didn't feel deserving of any of the friendship Arthur had shown him, he didn't know the depth of Arthur's caring nature, nor how much he was willing to put aside his status as a prince to help out a lowly servant. He wanted to express his feelings, his gratitude, but he didn't know how. Not without confessing his final lie. He was in love with the prat, he had been before this whole ordeal and it hadn't changed his feelings in the slightest. He knew he could never tell Arthur, he couldn't risk losing him just as he was becoming so open with him. He let out a sigh and this drew the prince's attention. 

"What is it, Merlin. You nearly blew all the food from the table with that sigh." It was a weak joke but Merlin smiled at the attempt to lighten the mood. 

"Nothing, Sire." 

Arthur's gaze softened at the formal name used so casually. "Merlin you know you can talk to me. I don't know if it would be helpful to you but when the knights have been into battle they are allowed to have a moment to talk of the horrors, to release the build up inside. I have heard it helps them deal with what they see." 

Merlin watched the candle light dance in Arthur's eyes. "You don't know yourself?" 

Arthur smiled a little bitterly. "I'm the prince, Merlin." As if that was the answer to everything. 

"Arthur...how can you so readily accept my magic? You were so angry with me before..." He trailed off and watched a mix of emotions play over Arthur's face. 

"After you...left, my father called in Aredian. He was convinced Camelot was full of sorcerers, he became paranoid and had almost every servant interrogated. He...Merlin he brought in so many. So many people suffered because of him. I am not convinced any of them even possessed magic. Every day I lived in fear that he would bring you in, parade you through the town like he did the others. I regretted sending you away so much but I couldn’t see how else I would have saved you." He paused and took a deep breath, his hands shaking in his lap. "The day he brought you in...I..." He felt a warm drop on his hand and noticed the tears slowly spilling from his eyes. 

Merlin stood from his chair and made his way round, it was his turn to try and give some comfort. He stood by Arthur's chair and sank down so he was kneeling, reaching forward to cover Arthur's hands with his. "Sire I know you did what you could. I know you wouldn't have let any of this happen without at least trying to stop it." Arthur took hold of Merlin's hands, linking their fingers. 

"I shouldn't be the one crying. How can you be so strong after everything?" 

Merlin brought Arthur's hands to his lips and pressed a small kiss to them. "I have to be. I can't fall apart, I can't allow myself that weakness when I must protect you." Arthur frowned slightly and Merlin saw the argument coming so he spoke first. "I think it's time I told you everything, Sire. From the beginning. I need to tell you, I need to feel that there are no more secrets. You have no idea how difficult it's been keeping everything from you, the one person I..." Merlin paused and bit his lip, stopping himself from going any further. 

Arthur waited for Merlin to carry on but when it became clear he wasn't going to say anything Arthur leaned towards him. "The one person you what?" He waited but Merlin turned his gaze downwards, his hands turning clammy in Arthur's. "Merlin I thought you didn't want any more secrets?" He studied Merlin's face and began to wonder. The loyalty and devotion Merlin had shown him, the way he had broken down when Arthur had discovered his secret. The absolute trust he had shown. Did he...? Arthur took a deep breath and gave Merlin's hands a little tug. "Look at me." 

Blue eyes met his and Arthur finally understood. The final secret Merlin had been hiding, possibly even more terrified of Arthur discovering this than his magic. 

The air grew heavy between them as they continued to hold each other's gaze, Arthur could see Merlin was trying as much as he was to hold back, the fear of over-stepping and ruining their friendship was evident. The prince moved as slowly as he could, bringing his face so close to Merlin's their breath mingled between them, their noses almost touching. He knew he had vowed to hold his feelings in, not to press Merlin, but he could see it now. He could see the love that must have been plain to everyone else but him. 

Merlin's tongue darted out to wet his lips nervously and that broke any resolve Arthur may have had. He closed the distance and pressed his lips to Merlin's in a chaste kiss, just the simple touch of lips but it meant everything. Merlin briefly stiffened but as Arthur freed one of his hands from Merlin's tightening grip to brush his fingers along his cheek and down to cup his jaw he relaxed and began to kiss back. The kiss was nothing heated, just gentle presses of comfort and warmth. Arthur couldn't help smiling into the kisses and he pulled back briefly to look at Merlin. 

"Arthur I need to tell you-" 

The prince broke him off by placing another kiss on his lips. "Not now, Merlin. Tell me later." The warlock reached up to place his hand over Arthur's and searched his eyes. "I can hear you thinking, Merlin. As your prince I order you to stop. Whatever you have to tell me, it won't change anything. I promise." 

Merlin shook his head. "You can't promise that. You don't know-" 

"Merlin?" 

"Yes, Sire?" 

"Shut up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the final chapter
> 
> i feel like i should write some long essay about this fic because it's taken such a long time to get through and i've had the most amazing response to it, i honestly can't thank you all enough for reading and giving me the support i very much needed to get this fic out to you
> 
> i just want to say a huge thank you to all you lovely readers for sticking with me (even when my updates were sporadic at best) and giving me wonderful feedback via comments/kudos/bookmarks or even just clicking on the story in the first place
> 
> it's a little sad to be posting the final chapter but also kind of a relief at the same time, while i have enjoyed writing this fic, it's been a very difficult one to keep up with and get the tone right what with it having such serious topics to tackle
> 
> i honestly do appreciate you all, you lovely lovely people 
> 
> i hope this is a satisfactory ending for you all!
> 
> any final thoughts/comments please let me know, i realise i've left it with a slightly more open ending but this was the place that i felt it was best to leave it ~ with that little bit of hope that the boys will be okay (and i'm sure they will be, at least in my mind they will)
> 
> thank you very much! hopefully see you all in my future works!


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